Gronk Burning Down The Dance Floor With Shaq Is The Most Positive Patriots News Of The Offseason Thus Far

The key to winning the offseason isn’t in free agency, it’s not in the draft or via trades. No. The key to winning the offseason is to have someone video tape your best players doing box jumps at the wee hours of the morning exhibiting not only health but, more importantly, the desire to outwork your opponents. And Gronk hopping up on Shaq’s shoulders like how mortals mount bicycles is the ultimate box jump. So if this doesn’t quell all of those retirement rumors then I don’t know what will. Not only is Gronk clearly committed to maintaining his game shape but he’s enlisting Hall of Famers from different sports to help him train. Also, don’t be surprised if Belichick tries to sign Shaq seeing as how no one in the history of the world has ever been able to carry around Gronk on their shoulders without breaking much of a sweat. I know Shelton and Clayborn have both been signed to bolster the defensive line but adding Shaq may just raise their ceiling from pretty good to dominant.

In all seriousness though, this is the Spiderman pointing at Spiderman meme come to life. Shaq and Gronk are the exact same guy, from the sheer dominance over their peers to their boisterous personalities. I’m kinda surprised they haven’t done more stuff like this. Once Gronk does retire a series of buddy cop movies with Shaq should be top priority for both of their careers. That or a travel show, honestly whatever they feel most comfortable with that doesn’t conflict with Gronk’s WWE career and I’m all in.